G. ADDRESSING EMOTIONAL NEEDS

I found myself, in my 30’s, getting angry over many situations. I was angry with my wife. I was angry with my kids. I was angry with my associates. I was trying to control everything in my life and everyone around me seemed to be doing things to frustrate me. I asked for prayer for gentleness but that didn’t seem to work.  As I progressed in this lifetime journey some key scriptures began to help me in my insecurity in life.

I found help from these verses:

Psalm 122:8 & Psalm 112:1-10

“His heart is secure.”

Isaiah 43:4

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you and people in exchange for your life.”

I discovered from reading that the two great needs in every person is to feel secure and significant. I learned that when I feel insecure I try to develop strategies in my behavior to protect myself from perceived fears. When I didn’t feel safe I was motivated to get this need met. Likewise, in the area of feeling valuable or significant, I longed to have meaning and purpose and to feel valuable to someone.

In the following illustration, you are going to see a number of boxes that represent the flow of thoughts and feelings in our hearts and minds. Track with me. We all have the need for security and significance. We then are motivated (go to the right) to get those needs met. However, as we go down we see possible assumptions that we make to get those needs met. You may be able to add more items. Then we pursue the assumptions with goal-oriented behavior. We may reach the goal and feel temporary satisfaction. However, soon you will have a vague sense of emptiness, and then around you go. Notice that when these goals get blocked you will be frustrated. This shows up in Anger, resentment, or anxiety. When you feel these emotions, you have a blocked goal.

What can you do? You must find your security and significance in God alone. That will free you to make it your goal to serve others. Let’s talk about this in our coaching and determine your intended future and next steps.

1. Which of these verses are the most meaningful to you?

2. What does it mean to have a “secure” heart?

3. How would you explain “Being the beloved”?

4. Describe what it feels like to be “precious and honored”?

5. Which of these words need more clarity to you?

6. What does it mean to be secure and significant?  Safe and valuable?

1. What has been your experience in seeking to get these two needs met (Security and Significance)?

2. What strategies and steps have you taken that only met these needs temporarily?

3. What scriptures have helped guide you to God’s perspective on how to get these two needs met?

4. How can you take this verse into your life every day?