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G. ADDRESSING EMOTIONAL NEEDS

G.3: I feel so insecure [Psalm 122:7-8, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 112:1-10]

What causes you to feel insecure?
What has contributed most to a positive self-image in your life?

A Story

I found myself, in my 30’s, getting angry over many situations. I was angry with my wife. I was angry with my kids. I was angry with my associates. I was trying to control everything in my life and everyone around me seemed to be doing things to frustrate me. I asked for prayer for gentleness but that didn’t seem to work.  As I progressed in this lifetime journey some key scriptures began to help me in my insecurity in life.

I found help from these verses:

Psalm 122:7-8 

“May peace be within your walls,
And prosperity within your palaces.”
8 For the sake of my brothers and my friends,
I will now say, “May peace be within you.”

Psalm 112:1-10

1 Praise the Lord!
Blessed is a person who fears the Lord,
Who greatly delights in His commandments.
2 His descendants will be mighty on the earth;
The generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
4 Light shines in the darkness for the upright;
He is gracious, compassionate, and righteous.
5 It goes well for a person who is gracious and lends;
He will maintain his cause in judgment.
6 For he will never be shaken;
The righteous will be remembered forever.

7 He will not fear bad news;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
8 His heart is firm, he will not fear,
But will look with satisfaction on his enemies.
9 He has given freely to the poor,
His righteousness endures forever;
His horn will be exalted in honor.

10 The wicked will see it and be vexed,
He will gnash his teeth and melt away;
The desire of the wicked will perish.

Isaiah 40:31

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

I discovered from reading that the two great needs in every person is to feel secure and significant. I learned that when I feel insecure I try to develop strategies in my behavior to protect myself from perceived fears. When I didn’t feel safe I was motivated to get this need met. Likewise, in the area of feeling valuable or significant, I longed to have meaning and purpose and to feel valuable to someone.

In the following illustration, you are going to see a number of boxes that represent the flow of thoughts and feelings in our hearts and minds. Track with me. We all have the need for security and significance. We then are motivated (go to the right) to get those needs met. However, as we go down we see possible assumptions that we make to get those needs met. You may be able to add more items. Then we pursue the assumptions with goal-oriented behavior. We may reach the goal and feel temporary satisfaction. However, soon you will have a vague sense of emptiness, and then around you go. Notice that when these goals get blocked you will be frustrated. This shows up in Anger, resentment, or anxiety. When you feel these emotions, you have a blocked goal.

What can you do? You must find your security and significance in God alone. That will free you to make it your goal to serve others. Let’s talk about this in our coaching and determine your intended future and next steps.

How am I going to get my needs met?

  1. Basic Needs – Security and Significance – Leads to number 2
  2. Provides Motivation – Leads to number 3
  3. Seek Assumptions – Leads to number 4
  4. Establish Goal Oriented Behavior – Leads to number 5
  5. Obtain 2 Types of Outcomes (see below)

Blocked Goal

This leads to:

  1. Anger
  2. Anxiety
  3. Resentment

Goal Achieved

This leads to:

  1. Temporary Satisfaction
  2. Vague Emptiness

Digging Into The Bible

Philippians 1:6

“Being confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in your will perfect it till the day of Jesus Christ.”

Matthew 3:17

“You are my beloved son, I take great delight in you.” How can you take this verse into your life every day?

Ephesians 2:10

“For you are his workmanship (masterpiece) created in Christ Jesus for good works which he created in advance for you to do.”

Psalm 122:8

“Their heart is secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.”

Isaiah 43:4

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you and people in exchange for your life.”

Discussion & Discovery

  1. Which of these verses are the most meaningful to you?
  1. What does it mean to have a “secure” heart?
  1. How would you explain “Being the beloved”?
  1. Describe what it feels like to be “precious and honored”?
  1. Which of these words need more clarity to you?
  1. What does it mean to be secure and significant?  Safe and valuable?

Application & Accountability & Affirmation

  1. What has been your experience in seeking to get these two needs met (Security and Significance)?
  1. What strategies and steps have you taken that only met these needs temporarily?
  1. What scriptures have helped guide you to God’s perspective on how to get these two needs met?
  1. How can you take this verse into your life every day?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible: